I have envied people who can ask for what they want. "Sign up for my masterclass, buy my book, book your appointment." They are so bold and driven, and people did what they asked. At least I did what they asked. I spoke with my current coach about it. Her name is Iza Dabek if you are interested. I told her that people judge women more harshly for self-praise but judge them more favorably if they praise others. She asked me where the belief came from - research and then responded with a "So What?". So what indeed. How did I feel about all the people that spoke up for themselves? I was proud of them and supported them. I am always telling others that their message will reach their intended audience. Why could I not believe it for myself?
I did post a video touting my art. I looked out the window and did not see the four horsemen of the apocalypse riding by. On the contrary, the feedback was very encouraging, and the world did not end. Doing something that makes you uncomfortable helps you to grow. This video was my third video in a relatively short amount of time. I hate how I look in videos. I confessed to a girlfriend that I was waiting for a good hair day. I often catastrophize outcomes thinking of the worst instead of the best. What fears or catastrophic thinking is holding you back?
I am not afraid of failure. I frequently post the art pieces that did not come out how I wanted. I share what I learned and incorporate my learnings into the next one. I try to normalize failure as part of the process yet often let the perfectionist tendencies win out. Most people try and put their best foot forward in social spaces. If we want to break the norm, we need to create new models. If enough women keep speaking up for themselves, we can tip the scales in our favor.
Dreams are inherently risky because of the constant flux of the dream world. This morning I dreamed that my daughter was a baby again, and they rerouted an entire highway system. Even worse is when you have a fantastic dream, and the alarm brings you back to reality. Dr. King had a big audacious dream. It has not come to fruition, but it has been a catalyst for change. Transformation will not happen by playing it safe. Embrace your inner Pink - "So What!" Put yourself out there. Like the adage says, "nothing ventured, nothing gained." Namaste
